


Disaster in Progress

by what (mageofhope)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically the same universe but everyone is happy, Fix-It, Gen, Happiness? In Gotham? Someone call Batman, I swear this isn't crack, Language, Not for anything specific I just want them all to be happy, Okay maybe a little crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 07:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19204912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageofhope/pseuds/what
Summary: Jason Todd is a lone wolf through and through. Man pain, rebellion, tragic backstory, he's got it all. He doesn't need comfort, he doesn't need friends (Roy and Kori don't count), and he definitely doesn't need a family.Even if they're starting to grow on him.My attempt to forcibly inject happiness into the Bat Family. It can't all be doom and gloom, right?





	Disaster in Progress

**Author's Note:**

> (These drabbles are inspired by the ridiculous situations I've encountered with my own family. Although, none of us have had traumatic experiences quite like the Bat Family. We're enough of a mess without the extreme trauma.)
> 
> Warning, a lil angsting and man pain at the beginning. Don't worry, Jason's just being #edgy. Don't try to tell me he isn't secretly an emo teenager. In RHATO, I kid you not, he brought up the fact that he was killed by the Joker and came back for vengeance in EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKING. ISSUE. You think Hamlet's moody? Meet Jason "by the way, i died, isn't that funny? did i mention i died? remember that time the joker killed me and i came back to avenge myself?" Todd. Also there's some swearing because hey guys, it's Jason Todd.

Jason Todd stood inside the entrance of the library, ready to murder his brother. To be fair, he was always ready to murder whichever ex-or current-Robin had crossed him last, but it was usually either the Replacement or the Demon Brat. Sometimes Steph if he was in the mood. The mood being anger, as the girl actively looked for new opportunities to go out of her way to screw with him. Only the original Robin, Golden Boy himself, escaped his wrath. He would only ever lash out at Dick when the man tried to get him to 'spend more time with the Family' and to 'come visit the Manor more often and stay for dinner' because, as the older man so often put it, 'isolating yourself isn't healthy, Jay, you're just hurting yourself'.

Screw him. Jason _liked_ not having to rely on anyone and nobody relying on him. He didn't need a family offering shitty false promises of _validation_ and _trust_. He didn't get either until he gave up the dream of ever having a real family like the ones he saw on TV as a kid. He remembered his mom once telling him that if he relied on other people for happiness, they would always let him down. Maybe she was just bemoaning her own circumstances, but for once, she was right, people did let him down, over and over again. Jason swore it would be a cold day in hell before he started playing nice with everyone, no matter what Dick said. Even so, he had to admit: Golden Boy was annoyingly persistent.

Today, Dickface tracked him down to work on a case together in the name of brotherly bonding. For whatever reason, Jason actually gave in this time, just to shut Dick up for once, which led to them meeting at the library. He wasn't about to let a nosy Bat and also former GCPD officer into one of his safe houses, and he would rather shoot himself in the foot than visit the Cave and risk having to make _small talk_. Even if he was on _almost_ good terms with the rest of the Family, he still tried to avoid interacting with any of them if he could help it.

Thus, Gotham Memorial Public Library. It was a safe space for Jason, had been since he was a kid trying to support his mom, and later, trying to survive on the streets. When B took him in, he came almost every day after school, eager to get his hands on the next book lined up on the shelves. After everything went to shit and he came back, he stepped in for memory's sake and just kept coming. It was one of the few places that still only held happy memories for him, free of trauma and fucked-up relationships. He tried to visit at least once a week and became somewhat of a regular. Jason had his own little nook in the back of the building, right outside the children's section, and he was even friendly with the librarians. Coming here relaxed him, no matter what shit was going down that week. It was like coming home after a long trip. Familiar. Comfortable.

Dick, on the other hand, looked like he was visibly in pain. He was out of his element, staring uneasily at all the books lining the walls. Jason rolled his eyes and sprawled out in his usual chair, gesturing to the seat across from him. Dick slowly lowered onto the chair but perched on the edge of it, back ramrod straight, like a kid at the doctor's office waiting for a flu shot.

"Seriously?" Jason scoffed. "It's a library, not a firing squad. You look like you're on death row."

The other man exhaled and slumped back against the cushions. "It just feels a little out of place for us to be here, I guess," he murmured. In all honesty, besides the one in the Manor, Dick hadn't set foot in a library since his early years of tumbling across rooftops in pixie boots. Reading was great and all, but he preferred experiencing things for himself, really seeing the world outside of paper and ink. No book could compare to the rush of flying across the Gotham skyline, or to the sight of Earth from the windows of the Watchtower. He spent the first ten years of his life just _feeling_ and _living_. The only stories he had back then were the ones his parents told him at night before bed, tales from his father's side of the family, legends passed down from generation to generation.

Books couldn't compare to the magic and wonder of living in a circus or saving lives. Also, he didn't really have the time or energy to slog through pages of dense text. Definitely not for any other reason. Not at all. Okay, so the truth was, he just hated sitting still long enough to get through a book. Just looking around at all the bulky volumes crowding the walls made him restless.

"I haven't been in one of these in years," he admitted.

"What, a library? No fucking way," Jason said, disbelievingly. He knew he was kind of an avid reader, but it was incomprehensible to think of someone going years without visiting the library. _Did he even read?_ "When's the last time you actually picked up a book?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Dick spluttered, "I'll have you know that I'm extremely busy right now. I don't have time to read."

Jason snorted. "Sure, and you didn't binge-watch 4 seasons of Wendy the Werewolf Hunter last week."

"How did you- forget it. Look, I'm just not a huge fan of reading, okay?" He wouldn't let Jason get to him. He was better than this, too mature to fall for the younger man's taunts.

Jason sat back and studied him, a little disappointed. "But you read as a kid, right?" he blurted, unable to let the topic go. "I get that you were in the circus and all, but you had to have read books when B took you in." He paused to take in the other man's expression. "Or not. I mean, you could be illiterate. Makes sense," he decided. A thought suddenly struck him. "Wait, do you get the Demon Brat to dumb down the case files for you so you can actually understand all the big words?"

 _Screw maturity_. "I can still read, asshole! Just because I'm not a book snob like you doesn't mean I can't enjoy reading once in a while," he retorted.

Jason scoffed. "Yeah? Okay Dickface, name one book you read _for fun_ as a kid."

Dick opened his mouth, affronted. "What about-"

"And don't you fucking dare name a comic book."

He shut his mouth.

"I read, uh..." He looked around, grateful they were so close to the children's section. He spied a familiar title on the shelf. "I read Charlotte's Web, how about that?"

Jason stared at him, almost offended by the blatantly obvious lie. Did Dick really think he was that stupid? It wouldn't hurt to take the former Boy Wonder down a few pegs, he decided. "Okay, then what's the spider's name?" _Dammit_. He mentally cursed at himself for coming up with such an easy question. Anyone could answer that, whether they'd heard of the book or not. Kori could answer that, and she wasn't even from Earth. Roy's three year-old daughter could answer that. Then again... Dick Grayson wasn't just _anyone_.

 _Dammit_. Dick had no idea. He only recognized the title from seeing it in the Manor library. Bruce bought the book for him, along with a couple others, when he first came to live with him. It was part of his attempt to make the imposing Manor a little more welcoming for a ten year-old boy. He definitely remembered thanking B and keeping the books on his shelf until he moved out. Unfortunately, he never read any of them. If only he had. How was he supposed to know the name of some random spider? Oh God. There was no way in hell he could let Jason get the best of him. Dick floundered, grasping for any excuse he could think of. "Well, um... I... It was a long time ago, okay? You can't expect me to remember something like that!"

Wait, he really didn't know? How fucking dumb could one person be? Jason was on the verge of bursting into laughter, but held it together to ask one more question. "Okay Dickiebird, so just one last thing. What do you _think_ the spider's name is?"

"Um...uh...Margaret?"

Jason lost it. He was howling with laughter. There were tears running down his face, and the librarian was giving both of them a dirty look, but he couldn't stop. Dick stared at him with a look of utter confusion, completely unaware of how fucking stupid he was.

"What?"

"Holy shit, you're such a fucking idiot!" He gasped out, in between peals of laughter. "The title is _Charlotte's Web_ , dumbass. What went through your mind at that moment? So the name of the book is _Charlotte's Web_ , there's a big-ass spider web on the cover with a spider in it, spiders spin webs, but what's the spider's name? Of fucking course! _Margaret_!"

He took a breath to collect himself, before losing it again. "Margaret's Web? How can you possibly be so-" He cut himself off, cowed by the librarian's death glare. Mrs. Li, a tiny Chinese woman who showed Jason pictures of her grandchildren every time he visited, looked harmless enough, but she would definitely break someone's kneecaps without a second thought. He could already see it happening in his mind. Librarians were terrifying as a rule, but anyone in Gotham who could put up with supervillain attacks on a daily basis while working a public service job definitely saw some shit. Sure, the ones here had a soft spot for Jason, but he wasn't about to push his luck.

Dick didn't have the same reservations. He used Jason's distraction to tackle him to the ground, lips curled up into a snarl in place of his usually pleasant expression. Jason was proud to say he brought out the worst in the seemingly perfect golden boy. "How can I possibly be so, so what? Say it, I dare you," Dick snapped.

But Jason couldn't answer, couldn't even lift his head to acknowledge Dick's threat. He was too busy cackling beneath him, clutching at his stomach as he shook with laughter.

 

_They got kicked out of the library._

**Author's Note:**

> I go hard for the idea of Jason liking classic literature and being a total NERD about it. I go equally hard for Dick Grayson being super dumb. 
> 
> Charlotte's Web catastrophe inspired by my youngest brother, who's a bad liar and probably illiterate.


End file.
